There's an episode of 'How I met your mother' where Barney explains the concept of graduation goggles. This phenomenon occurs whenever you are going through a change in your life, a change like graduation. When you graduate either high school or college you may be sad because you think of all of the good memories, not all of the hard work, sleepless nights, and even tears. You are sad to leave it all behind and have a fresh start, although that has been the end goal the entire time.
This phenomenon explains why people cannot seem to make long term relationships work. When you are single, you long to be loved and to love someone else. You want the snuggles and the kisses and the dates. You want the amazing trips together and brunch on Sunday. You want to escape your single lifestyle.
Whenever you actually get into a relationship you do get to experience these things! You get to feel all of these amazing emotions and make all of these beautiful memories. This will wear off though, whether it takes 2 months, 6 months or even a year. The original flame and the original spark wears off. You begin feeling comfortable. The relationship begins to feel normal and regular.
This is when people choose to walk away. They want the new and exciting experience of a relationship, but do not want the comfortable and real part of one. They reminisce on being single and think that it was such a freeing and fun experience because of their graduation goggles. They remember the amazing girls nights they had and the first dates they went on. They forget the lonely nights though when they wanted someone to just be there and let them know that everything was going to be alright. They forget the Valentine's days they spent on the couch watching a movie alone or even the date nights with friends where they were the fifth wheel.
Truth is, relationships are boring sometimes. You and your boyfriend/girlfriend are together daily and just living your lives. You work, clean, take care of each other and sometimes the magic is not always there. Your heart doesn't skip a beat with every kiss and you wear old sweatpants to dinner. You do not need to make every single moment memorable or magical because you are supposed to be best friends and love each other through everything.
There are days where I cannot stand my fiance, but when i get into bed I still make him snuggle me because even when I don't like him I still love him. There are even days whenever I think to myself that being single would be sort of fun, but then I would just be out there looking for exactly what I already have.
I am of course no relationship expert, but who is? Who is to say that anyone knows exactly how to act whenever they are in a relationship or how a relationship should be day to day, My advice to anyone who seems to think there's no one out there for them is to take a chance. Sometimes you find love in unexpected places and with unexpected people. When you are finally in a long term relationship remember that the grass is not always greener.
10/12/2022 05:38:07 am
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